STRANGER

Ever since I was little a child, I was taught never to question God. Everything happens for a reason. Your role is to obey and pray, a time will come for you to understand why things are the way they are in life. Why do we laugh, cry, why we distance ourselves from people…..why does he take away the people we love the most.

Beat

I lost faith in him. I prayed every single day. I asked people, strangers, friends and family to pray.  I visited the parish, knelt down, lit a candle and stared at the statue of our mother Mary. Words could not come out. Tears where just rolling down my cheeks hoping that she hears my humble cry or feels my heart beat.

Beat

Hail Mary full of grace, the lord is with thee

Blessed art though among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus Christ

Holy Mary mother of god pray for us sinners

Now and the hour of our death

AMEN

Beat

This is the prayer I prayed every single night asking him why her. She was such a young innocent soul. Why did he choose us, me to go through such………. Nonhlanhla was her name. People would ask me what is it about this child that you are asking us to pray for on such short notice of time. She is not your sister, you are not related. She is just a two year old girl who happens to be your neighbor’s daughter.

People never understood what I went through and I don’t think no one will. Flash backs of what happened on that day still haunts me when in I think about the future and having children of my own.

Just an ordinary day when I came back from writing my last paper in matric, her mother was waiting for me at the gate to celebrate my last paper. My finale paper, we were all in a joyful mood.

Nonhlanhla came running towards me and I don’t know if the devil had an agreement with God to allow the gate to fall on top Nonhlanhla when she was running towards me.

It was just sudden…

We tried lifting the gate, crying for help and I had the power to drag her under the gate. From that time her body was weak. I grabbed her in my arms and looked at her. All I remembered was just screaming asking for help. Blood was all over my shirt. Her mother did not even want to look at her. I then asked my friend to drive to the nearest hospital.

On our way the only thing she did was to just stare at me and smile…….and then she stopped breathing….I tried to open her mouth, remove blood from the nose for her to breath at least

When we arrived to the hospital it was too late. The doctors gave us two days to hope for the best.

So God knows I prayed those two days…….i could not function well. Having a stranger die in my hands was something I never thought I would experience.

Beat

After two days she was no more……the house was quite like never before

I kept on asking him why, why, why and I guess to him it was a sign of disobedient, maybe that is why I never got my answer

I felt like writing a letter telling him that I am breaking up with him…..that it’s not you it’s me cause I never seem to understand your ways, it seems like it’s a one way relationship, you know all about me but you chose to let me know what you want me to know about you, as they said you work in mysterious ways

Beat

But who am I to question….

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

MY NAME

MY NAME   Agnes this Agnes that. Agnes can I have a cup of coffee please. Agnes did you take my dog for a walk. Agnes? My name is Nomqibelo Ncamisile Hadebe. Yes I said it Hadebe not Gadebe.     A name I was given by my grandmother. It carries such value yet to this lady to uMadam its trash. I end up being called uAgnes. You know sometimes the madam’s kids forget that I am being called by Agnes they end up calling me uJoyce. Joyce! From Agnes to Joyce Imagine me yes me if I was the madam. I would give them a very sophisticated yet complicated name like uVezahlebe. Yes. I would be like Vezahlebe can I please have a cup of coffee; no I will be like ngithi ngicela umqombothi…. My life will be amazing. But that is not the case. Apartheid when you end? When will our brothers and sisters stop working as garden boys and maids? I hear the Soweto youth screaming and shouting Amandla and they all respond ngawethu! Damit! Mandla is not with us, mandla is with madam.  ...
Read more

Dear Black Child

DEAR BLACK CHILD Black is a word A description of race A color A symbolic meaning of death Oh dear black child Are you a description of death? Color, race Does the black blood flows within your vein Or it has just been taken in vein Sons and daughters of the soil Freedom we have obtained not We the born frees Rejoice for joy, noises from every corner of the street Shouting freedom we obtained yet freedom we obtained not Oh dear black child We look down to the soil Reflection of the footsteps of our ancestors Shadow of grave, shadow of poverty Reflects on us every single sunset Freedom we obtained not Is freedom an ownership or a title enforced within us For sympathy or empathy? Why have you lost the teachings of Steve Biko? In order to remove the shackles of inferiority One has to change thy mentality Till when black child We continue enforcing subjects to be taught in the language we borrowed Ignorance of over 1000b...
Read more

AFRICAN PERIOD

JUST AFRICAN   Being an African has been said in so many ways that we decide to just go with the flow. They said being an African you need to own your crown “the Afro” Dress code has to define you as an African. Embody yourself, have that skin, beauty, looks and the body.   Being the dark skinned girl, I saw that as an opportunity to finally be called an African I then decided to do the big chop L.A girl, a shade darker African prints, beads, brands was all I could think off I inherited that look to perfection   I felt like the queen of the Sahara desert , mama Africa, the camagwini of Africa, African goddess just to name a few Eyes popped out every second as I stepped my standards on the African ground Embracing the fact that I defined the true meaning of an African. Smiling, staring shouting oh our African queen, you are a true definition of black is beautiful. You are too much of an African NEH Too much, too much of an African was not ...
Read more